Mother’s Day is coming, and while many people are thinking of ideas to recognize their own mothers on Mother’s Day, there is an “invisible” group of women for whom this day may be very painful. Grieving mothers. So, what can you do for them? Here’s a quick list:

  1. Acknowledge that this day may be painful for them. ” I know this may be a hard day. Please know I am thinking of you”
  2. Speak their child’s name. One of the things we hear our families say most is that they miss hearing their loved one’s name.
  3. Acknowledge that they are a mother. Let them know that you remember they are a mother, even though their child is no longer alive.
  4. Don’t try to minimize their loss with “helpful” words. Comments like “God wanted an angel”, or trying to be positive by saying things like, ” You can have more children” or ” At least you still have (insert living child’s name)”, while well meaning, can be extremely hurtful.
  5. Promote Self Care. Many mothers are quick to sacrifice their own mental and physical health for the needs of their family. This is especially true of grieving mothers. Encourage them to take time on Mother’s Day for themselves. We use the “Oxygen Mask” metaphor. If you don’t take time to secure your own health and safety, you won’t be able to help others.

If know a grieving mother, we encourage you to reach out this Mother’s Day. The smallest kindness can make an enormous impact.

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